Many experiences have carried her to this moment. Degradation of pride, strength, hopes. Superficial expressions fooling the mind to believe it’s being engaged, the body to believe it had been cherished.
The delusive promises of forever
To go with the motions. There are so many things that can make a person worthy. Worthy of trust, attention, love. To be caring, but not a true altruist. To be smart, but not a genius. To be honest, but not a saint. To be pretty, but not a model.
To be the norm
She has body morphia disorder. Not dismorphia. She looks in a mirror daily trying to pick apart what isn’t right, what everyone else sees. What makes her ugly? She can’t see it.
What makes her not good enough
She becomes undone
- my mindset at the takeoff of this blog
Who is she?
Jannah. A sister, a daughter, an aunt, a caregiver, a student, a volunteer, a president, an ex, a mentor, a worker
What are her values?
Family, Faith, Ambition, Compassion, Honesty, Diversity, Tolerance, Equality, Strength, Love, Legacy
Joining the Peace Corps will test all of my values . What do I really want to do, and more than that, what can I really do well? I have proven to myslef that I can do anything I put my mind to. But what really drives me? What is my passion? What can I see myself doing for 40+ years? I do not know. I know I want to help people, but how? And how can I do it in a way that satisfies me and leaves the biggest positive impact in this large and crazy world.