In a way, Kanye’s entire discography is leading to this (probable) point—his first two records were about reaching the top, Graduation was about loving life there, 808’s and Heartbreak was how the top can fuck up your personal life, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was about growing restless at the top, and Watch the Throne found him and Jay-Z negotiating the idea of why there weren’t more black men at the top. And now, it seems, Kanye’s taking stock of the world as he sees it from upon high, and deciding that he doesn’t like what’s flashing in front of his Fendi frames. The fact that the biggest black entertainer in the country even made those two records and debuted them on the beyond-white bread Saturday Night Live is huge. This isn’t Das Racist razzing a few privileged white kids at Music Hall of Williamsburg. This is Kanye West going into a million white people’s living rooms and saying, “Look at the terrible things your people have done to my people and are still doing to my people. We are not going to take it. I’m so pissed right now I wouldn’t even be here if I didn’t have something incredibly urgent to say. Fuck you.” That’s a powerful act, something that you can put up there with things that Bob Marley or Tupac did. I know that’s outlandish, but one day we’ll be holding Kanye West up next to those guys, so we might as well start now.

Drew Millard, The Revolutionary Politics of Kanye West  (via spring1999)

this nigga kanye been spouting truth and getting louder since day one. and muhfuckas play him to the side and demonize him so that it’ll fall on deaf ears, but they know not with whom they fuck. 

(via deliciouskaek)

Place me Please?

Yippee!!! I received a call from my placement officer yesterday, January 3rd. He caught me completely off guard and said he was ready to interview me for placement and asked me if i wanted to do it then or set a future date… um no, now please. So there on the spot he interviewed me on my placement preferences, diet restrictions, and just other general questions in regards to my expectations, strengths, and weaknesses. Then on the spot he told me that he had found me suitable for placement and that I should expect an invite in my email WITHIN the next two weeks. I hate it when they say “within” because now I know ill be checking my email daily until I get something. Anyhow, ill take what I can get. Its about to get so frigging real!!! I’ll finally know where ill be going so i can look at pictures, research the climate, get my medical work done, and basically just prepare myself for the next two years. I asked about “the big blue packet” that i see everyone in their videos and blogs getting and he said I’m going to get that after I confirm the email. Which was sort of a downer because in my head I pictured opening the packet in front of my family and us all finding out at once where i would be going. But hey, I will not complain. Maybe ill still wait for the packet to come to tell everyone… lol, sike. We all know I’m going to be too excited. Whelp peeps, when I know you will know! May all your processes go quick! 

Moving on Up

I was really good this pass week with being patient while waiting to hear about my legal clearance. I restrained from checking my application status five times a day, didn’t email my recruiter but once, and only called the legal office once to see if they received everything. I did good. Today out of anxious boredom and curiosity I checked and saw the beautiful words saying that I had been legally cleared. Now I’m excited all over again…So I called the placement office again to see where my application was at in regards to receiving an invitation, emailed the medical office to see if I could get a jump on all things medical related, and emailed the health placement desk since the placement office wasn’t quite sure of my status. Now, i wait some more. I’m praying on an invitation by new years. :-D !!!!

I’ve got mail


Its not my invite, but im sure thats coming soon eh he he .. (nervous laugh). It was still pretty awesome to get something from them and as I mentioned, i was able to fill it out and send it back the same day. In my legal packet was:

  • Two finger print cards
  • Detailed Directions for these *Read carefully*
  • NAC (National Agency Check) Questionnaire
  • Detailed Directions for this *read carefully*

Both fingerprint cards must be filled out so if you are reading this and waiting for your legal packet to arrive in the mail you may want to figure out where you are going to go and get these done at. No they do not allow you to break open a black pen and do your own. Lol, or I would have. I went to my campus police station and they did mines for that free free. Thanks CCPD :-). The NAC questionnaire asked basic info, name, social, place of birth, they asked what county you were born in and I had no idea so I had to call around for that tidbit of information. Apparently whatever burrough you were born in is also your county. So my city was the Bronx and my county was Bronx. Until next time,
May all things work in your favor and you always recieve fast responses!


Peace Corps new application process

So many of you applying now may be reading blogs that refer to the old application process & unless you’ve had enough free time to stalk the site as I have I’m guessing you didnt know about these changes.
The changes occured August 15th 2012 and in a nutshell are:

  • Improved medical review process, your Health History Form will be reviewed before sending out a bunch of papers unrelated to your needs and only applicants who recieve an invite will be asked to get complete a physical and dental examination
  • Number of paper forms reduced, many things being done electronically
  • Invitations will be sent out with a longer lead time giving you more time to prepare

Heres a quick FAQ page on it:

So I think this is pretty neat. My main hope is that this means all the crazy long medical process stories ive been reading wont apply to me due to these changes. I hope. I know they say the entire application process from start to finish usually takes 9-12 months. Well, I started September 20th and I am really hoping to be leaving no later than May 20th. Thats 8 months, Im thinking wishfully here.

Patience is a virtue that I am constantly working on.

Timeline up to today

This is how I will keep myself busy up until the day I am on a plane headed to a destination that will forever change every aspect of me. I will meticulously keep track of every waking detail of this tedious process. Once I actually leave I will keep all of my loved and worried ones at home up to date on what is happening through this blog. So this is my timeline up until today:

September 20th, 2012- Submitted application
Knocked it out in 5 hours in one night because I knew if it didnt get done that night it wouldnt get done at all
October 16th, 2012- Last recommendation submitted. Interview Scheduled.
The reason why it took so long for my last recommendation to be submitted is only one of the many reasons why I use the word friend very losely. Also, it seemed like my recruiter was waiting at the phone for that last recommendation because no more than 5 minutes after it was submitted I was called and my interview was scheduled for two days later.
October 18th, 2012- Interview conducted. NOMINATED!!!
My interview lasted about an hour and during that same phone call she nominated me. I was only told that my nomination was for a health extension program, my program may entail some food security, I would have to bike long distances, and that if all the legal and medical goes well and timely I could be leaving as early as the day after my graduation, May 5th
October 31st, 2012- Legal Packet arrived
I’m staying on campus and so I have been calling my mom basically everyday making sure she checks the mailbox. Two weeks later it finally came! I worked a 7pm to 7am shift, and went home to pick it up that morning. No, I play no games with this. Time is of the essence and I know the sooner I get everything to them the sooner they will get everything back to me.
November 1st, 2012- Legal Packet sent out
The very next day I went to my campus police dept., had my fingerprints taken, filled out the forms, packaged, sealed and sent everything right back to them. This process requires diligence and commitment.

Now I wait… Hopefully I will hear back from them before the year is out so that I can get my multitude of doctor appointments out of the way before my insurance runs out in January

Familiar with many, master at none

Many experiences have carried her to this moment. Degradation of pride, strength, hopes. Superficial expressions fooling the mind to believe it’s being engaged, the body to believe it had been cherished.
The delusive promises of forever
To go with the motions. There are so many things that can make a person worthy. Worthy of trust, attention, love. To be caring, but not a true altruist. To be smart, but not a genius. To be honest, but not a saint. To be pretty, but not a model.
To be the norm
She has body morphia disorder. Not dismorphia. She looks in a mirror daily trying to pick apart what isn’t right, what everyone else sees. What makes her ugly? She can’t see it.
What makes her not good enough
She becomes undone

- my mindset at the takeoff of this blog

Who is she?
Jannah. A sister, a daughter, an aunt, a caregiver, a student, a volunteer, a president, an ex, a mentor, a worker

What are her values?
Family, Faith, Ambition, Compassion, Honesty, Diversity, Tolerance, Equality, Strength, Love, Legacy

Joining the Peace Corps will test all of my values . What do I really want to do, and more than that, what can I really do well? I have proven to myslef that I can do anything I put my mind to. But what really drives me? What is my passion? What can I see myself doing for 40+ years? I do not know. I know I want to help people, but how? And how can I do it in a way that satisfies me and leaves the biggest positive impact in this large and crazy world.

Never give in—never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.~Winston Churchill